I was feeling a little nostalgic today. On the heels of the Instagram phenomenon of “Throwback Thursday” (#tbt), I was scrolling through my old facebook and camera photos. It was a real trip down memory lane for me. More interestingly though, it was kind of a way for me to look back and see how far I have come, and more importantly how much I have grown.
For many years I was unhappy. And I had accepted that unhappiness thinking I had no other option, so I would just make the best of it. I was extremely unconfident and had no self love really at all. I kind of was living thinking that my life was as good as it was going to get. That’s sad.
These photos are from that time in my life. I don’t look sad in the photos, I am smiling. But when I look at these photos I am sad. I know I was sad at that time. I see someone who was not confident and didn’t know how great life could be, and SHOULD be. I didn’t have time for much self care. I had a lot on my plate. Eventually I got to the point where I realized I needed some “me time”. I started running and going to the gym, honestly not to get in shape, but to get me out of the house. I started to feel better with myself and I started to gain confidence. I began to realize that there was more to life out there for me, and I deserved more. I COULD be happy.
I took myself out of that sad situation and started a new life, just me and my daughter. It wasn’t easy but it was SO worth it. I felt a peace and a happiness I didn’t know I would ever feel. I started doing things for MYSELF and for my daughter and made my own choices and decisions. I met someone who appreciates me for who I am and raises me up so that I see that I am worth it. I began to feel HAPPY.
This post might come across as cheesy. But it’s real. It may not make sense to many of you because you haven’t been there, or you haven’t felt that way. But for those of you who have, or may be going through it now…you never have to feel that way. I have many exciting years ahead of me and I live every day appreciating the life and happiness I have found.
In regards to my health and physical fitness, there have been a lot of changes as well. I haven’t really changed in regards to numbers on the scale. But there is a very noticeable difference in my appearance. Even my stance. I look at those other pictures and I am hunched over, no confidence. I see an empty smile. The newer photos I can see the genuine happiness, and the confidence in my stance.
I don’t really know what the point of this post is. Looking at the old pictures got to me and I felt I had to write my feelings down. I’m in a better place now and I know it will last. I’ve come a long way and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.
Do you ever get caught up comparing pictures of then and now?